My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
