Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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