I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
