I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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