I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
