I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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