I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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