you told grandpa to call you daddy
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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