I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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