People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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