Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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