i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
