didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
