Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
