well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
