I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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