Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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