How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
