would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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