Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
