Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
