it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
