Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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