Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
