She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
