Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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