It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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