listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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