we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
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