guys are not supposed to queef...right?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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