i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
