Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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