Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases

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(206): View more from Washington

I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I can get orange kush...

(586): View more from Michigan

GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!

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(702): View more from Nevada

whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want

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(804): View more from Virginia

...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks

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(845): View more from New York

I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.

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(260): View more from Indiana

I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.

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(586): View more from Michigan

The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"

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