the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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