can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
