Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
