one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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