I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
