For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
