I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
