I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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