Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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