it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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