how can u be prego again
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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