Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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