My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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