Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
