I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
