NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
