were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
