I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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