just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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